Learn the Do’s and Dont’s of Family Counseling

Take no sides.

Counselors understand the importance of being the room’s leader. With family sessions, this ideal may be attacked from all sides. Even an ethical activity can be interpreted by one family member as intended to target, expose, or harm him or her. Counselors must tread a tight line while dealing with families, as they are frequently the ones who function as conduits for the relationships. Consider this: if one family member complains about another (also present in the room), and the counselor responds with a question that can be seen as supporting an attack or assertion that the target of the complaint believes is unfair and not understood. An enraged family member may grasp on the slightest sign of taking sides and drag the counselor into disorder.

 

How does a therapist avoid taking sides?

By avoiding circumstances that could be perceived as manipulative. Above all, exercise extreme caution while acting on behalf of a family member. Again, ask the correct questions, but let events flow naturally inside the family. Counselors can also establish rapport by telling others in the room to do the same (not speaking for others or letting others speak for them). Avoiding these problems is made easier by being selective with input. Counselor discipline emphasizes a distinction between family therapy and individual sessions. Encouragement may work in a one-on-one environment to urge a stubborn client to chat more, but it may be counter-productive in a family setting.

Do ask the family why they are seeking counseling.

Because they do not want to accept marital or family flaws, some families view counseling as a last resort. However, in order to make any progress once therapy begins, families must identify the issue that prompted them to seek help. It is difficult to express problems, and it is even more difficult to be honest, but counselors must get the family to explain why they have chosen counseling sessions to help their home, personal, and professional lives. Acknowledging a problem can take time and cannot be rushed in any sort of counseling, but it can be especially difficult to achieve in family counseling, since consensus and whole participation are required.

Many family problems fester because they go ignored or are not handled with appropriate remedies. Counselors can assist family members in identifying their concerns, thoughts, and feelings in a way that could be perceived as vengeful or going behind another’s back in another context. This form of open conversation is beneficial in bringing a family together over fundamental flaws and beginning to build on strengths. Establishing (and maintaining) group respect for all persons’ thoughts and feelings produces a counseling atmosphere that aids therapy progress and allows families to come to grips with their challenges.

Remember to think about emotions in the context of dynamics.

It’s not always difficult to discern how one client feels in respect to another family member. Anger and distrust (and other emotions) show up in obvious ways. Even though family members try to hide their emotions, they frequently give themselves up in the process. It is critical to recognize that how clients feel on the inside does not tell the whole story of how their families are affected. Interactions between a son and his father, a mother and her daughter, or a husband and wife can serve as more accurate barometers of difficulties that need to be addressed. If they are informed, people are aware when they have made a mistake. When you’re subjected to the silent treatment, it’s more difficult to figure out what the real problem is. When it comes to improving family functioning, it is typically the behavior that has to be addressed rather than the feelings that these behaviors produce.

 

Allow for pauses and disagreements.

Arguments may appear to be counterproductive to healthy expression, but they can be the most open and honest method of communication amongst families. A counselor’s first instinct to a disturbance or interruption may be to instantly tamp it down in order to keep control of the room, but allowing these encounters to run their course can result in illuminating peeks into family dynamics. When unrehearsed interruptions in conversation occur, pretenses and shields are frequently cast away, and witnessing how each family member reacts to the interruption can assist counselors better grasp the situation.